As a seminary couple, we’re on what some might call a tight budget. And by some, I mean everyone, and by budget, I mean “avoid spending money at (almost) all costs.” Groupon has been like a dear friend to us since we still like to go on dates. Our most recent purchase was four AMC movie tickets for $1/each. Can’t beat that. That’s only like 4 loads of laundry or 1 gallon of gas, so we can swing that.
The other night, to celebrate the fact that David finished up his summer classes, we hit an AMC near us to see Super 8. After debating at the concession stand and coming to the conclusion that spending $16 on popcorn and soda would cancel out the awesomeness of $1 movie tickets, we found some seats and settled back for what we hoped would be a satisfying summer movie experience. Were we ever wrong. If you haven’t seen the movie and you want to, consider this your spoiler alert.
As a devoted LOST fan, I expected too much from Abrams, I guess. Some of you might bring something up about this being a tribute to Spielburg or something, but I really don’t want to hear about it. Calling a dish of brussels sprouts a tribute to someone doesn’t make it any less smelly or more tasty.
Moving along, let’s talk about the story. As far as I can tell, this whole thing was mostly about an misunderstood spider trying to get his legos back? There were some kids making a movie too, and…dogs? The dogs were probably my favorite part of the movie because they were the only smart ones. About 15 minutes into the movie, all the dogs in the town being terrorized by said angsty spider/alien run to safety while we are left to watch as the humans take an hour to realize that the dogs were on to something.
The movie isn’t all bad, though. The train wreck that begins the alien invasion is a work of cinematographic art. Furthermore, the kids are great comic relief: both from the “suspense” and from the disappointment you might feel when you realize that yes, the scary monster really is just an angry giant spider who will be appeased by the deep, deep words of one 14 year old boy. “Bad things happen…but you can still live.”
And that’s it. That’s all it took. Spidey, who normally snacks on humans, releases the boy from his grip (apparently he lost his appetite), reclaims his legos, rebuilds his spaceship, and heads home. Maybe the next time someone’s terrorizing y’all’s neighborhood, you can just try that line on him. It’ll probably work.
I was expecting this movie to be at least a little bit suspenseful, but the rising action didn’t seem to lead to anything, and the movie just sort of fizzled out for me. I was a little disappointed that we wasted our movie tickets on this film, but at least we got to laugh a lot on the way home. If I were you, I’d save your money and rent this one with a bunch of your friends when you run out of other things to mock.