I hate that I have to write to you about this, but I know that one day, you will need it. You will need to hear about how things break and how they are mended.
there is sin. and sin can hurt. it can rip babies from mommas and daddies from homes. it can mean thousands of people dead. it can mean long nights of crying and sharp stabs in your heart. it can break hearts and homes and people.
it can mean bitterness. it can mean a tight heart and clenched hands and darkened eyes. it can mean isolation and insulation and grasping at brokenness.
dear daughter, there is also forgiveness. it means an open heart and hands that mend and eyes that are full of light. it means healing and grace. it means trying and forgetting. it means peace and stable and steady. it means stillness and wonder and a peace that you can’t fake.
I know that sounds hard. I know it sounds hard to be open when someone has hurt you. I know it is hard to mend hearts when yours feels broken. I know the ache that wants to be healed by clenching.
But I also know that clenching doesn’t work. I know that a barricaded heart and clenched hands never did anyone any good. I know that we aren’t healed by closing off but by opening up.
I know this because it’s how Jesus forgave. He didn’t clench up, he opened up. He stretched himself on that cross, wide open and vulnerable and begged forgiveness for us. for us. who killed him. forgiveness. before we asked. His grace extends to us, and the best way for his forgiveness to heal you, sweet girl, is by opening yourself up and letting him use you to extend grace. He doesn’t ask you to come up with it. He freely gives. He only asks you to be open for it.
“when everything in me is tightening
curling in around this ache
I will lay my heart wide open
like the surface of a lake
wide open like a lake”*
I love you, sweet girl.
*Like a Lake, Sara Groves